How many children should one have???
I happen to be immersed in a culture that sometimes may encourage having many children. You may even be looked upon as more spiritual when you do have more. I find myself debating how many children should I have. I come from a large family, 8 children. I loved it, I loved the chaos, the family traditions and I know I have people who will help me out and look after me in my time of need. Now that I am having my own children things have changed. I thought I could do it all, but I have come to accept a few things. I am not born to breed. I don't like being pregnant, feeling sick and fat for nine months is not enjoyable, recovering from birth, caring for a baby, not sleeping, and worrying are not my cup of tea.
How many is too many for me?
Can I physically, mentally, emotional and financially care for more children? As I think about it I don't necessarily come to any type of conclusions I just think about a few things about the number of children.
1)It has nothing to do with numbers...
2)How is my marriage? If it is rocky maybe you should focus on that rather than bringing something else to the table.
3)How are my children doing, would they be ok with another addition? Does a child that I already have need me to give them special attention.
4)Can we afford it?
5)If I have only 1 or 2 it is my business not anyone elses.
6)If I truly have the desire to have more and all of the above is ok then go for it.
Having children is wonderful, but it isn't a side job, it is all encompassing. It brings me my greatest joy and my greatest sorrow. Now that I have a child I understand the importance of mothers and fathers and providing a stable environment for your child. Life is just hard and children need to be loved, cared for, adored and protected. Whether it is 1 or 10, they all need the same thing.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Mac n Cheese
What child does not love this beloved food?? I have to admit I do like the cheesy pasta but buying the stuff in the box with that powder that they call cheese is just wrong. I discovered a way to make it more healthy and now it is an easy dinner that makes moms and kids happy.
1 T olive oil
1 T flour
1 c milk
4 oz cream cheese
1 c grated cheese
1/4 c pureed cauliflour
salt/pepper to taste
tinkyada brown rice pasta which is wonderful and gluten free!
I take a whole caulifour and steam it, then I blend it in my blender. I stick it in baggies and freeze them individually. It is super easy and an easy way to sneak veggies in to many different foods. I love to put it in soups too.
What child does not love this beloved food?? I have to admit I do like the cheesy pasta but buying the stuff in the box with that powder that they call cheese is just wrong. I discovered a way to make it more healthy and now it is an easy dinner that makes moms and kids happy.
1 T olive oil
1 T flour
1 c milk
4 oz cream cheese
1 c grated cheese
1/4 c pureed cauliflour
salt/pepper to taste
tinkyada brown rice pasta which is wonderful and gluten free!
I take a whole caulifour and steam it, then I blend it in my blender. I stick it in baggies and freeze them individually. It is super easy and an easy way to sneak veggies in to many different foods. I love to put it in soups too.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Smoothies!
Eating healthy is something that I take very seriously. I am creating eating habits for my children and my husband has Celiac disease. I don't eat perfectly and I am not skinny, but we try.
On the food note my two year old is soooooo hard to feed. He finds the crap and eats it, there are few things I know he will eat and Smoothies are one of them. He will also do oatmeal, boiled eggs and pasta. Note: oatmeal is cooked with whole oats, flax seed added and a dash of brown sugar. The instant stuff is crap and you should not eat it if your intentions are to be healthy. Pasta is Tinkyada which is made from brown rice. Way more healthy and gluten free of course. I make my own sauces which are very easy to do. However our focus today is Smoothies...
Smoothies are great because you can sneak in stuff kids won't eat normally. Green powders, much needed protein... Here is a base to what I do for my kids and during the summer we have smoothies once a day.
Almond milk, I try to stay away from dairy and we like the taste of almond milk better. You can even make your own almond milk if you are feeling a little crazy.
Green Powder
Brown Rice Protein (Hemp, other protein are great too)
Peanut butter (makes it delicious and smoothe, we love this)
Frozen Strawberries, bananas, pears, grapes or whatever is going bad in the fridge.
Spinach, broccoli, kale, coconut milk, kefir, yogurt, juice.....
The possibilities are limitless and your kids will be eating stuff that make them feel good, not cranky!
On the food note my two year old is soooooo hard to feed. He finds the crap and eats it, there are few things I know he will eat and Smoothies are one of them. He will also do oatmeal, boiled eggs and pasta. Note: oatmeal is cooked with whole oats, flax seed added and a dash of brown sugar. The instant stuff is crap and you should not eat it if your intentions are to be healthy. Pasta is Tinkyada which is made from brown rice. Way more healthy and gluten free of course. I make my own sauces which are very easy to do. However our focus today is Smoothies...
Smoothies are great because you can sneak in stuff kids won't eat normally. Green powders, much needed protein... Here is a base to what I do for my kids and during the summer we have smoothies once a day.
Almond milk, I try to stay away from dairy and we like the taste of almond milk better. You can even make your own almond milk if you are feeling a little crazy.
Green Powder
Brown Rice Protein (Hemp, other protein are great too)
Peanut butter (makes it delicious and smoothe, we love this)
Frozen Strawberries, bananas, pears, grapes or whatever is going bad in the fridge.
Spinach, broccoli, kale, coconut milk, kefir, yogurt, juice.....
The possibilities are limitless and your kids will be eating stuff that make them feel good, not cranky!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
To have Fun!
Having Fun with your kids!
This is a serious issue for me, if we are not having fun, then I am usually yelling and the kids are fighting. Here is how I make it happen!
How?
1) Plan Ahead!! This means find friends to meet up with you at a certain time, this way you are committed and no matter how bad the morning may be. You know it always feels good to be out and to be conversing with other adults!
This is a serious issue for me, if we are not having fun, then I am usually yelling and the kids are fighting. Here is how I make it happen!
How?
1) Plan Ahead!! This means find friends to meet up with you at a certain time, this way you are committed and no matter how bad the morning may be. You know it always feels good to be out and to be conversing with other adults!
2) Timing is everything with munchkins! Make sure that you are working around their naps. Why? So that they aren't grumpy and you are going home early with a child that is now off schedule and you all know how that is!
3) Variety is important for me and my kids, going to the library everyday gets old.
Where:
Where:
1) I love having passes, it makes it easy to visit places that are pricey. You don't feel like you have to be there all day to get your moneys worth. Believe me, if you plan ahead you will get your money's worth and then some.
a) The Children's Museum: very expensive. However, if you get two friends to go in on the pass, it is way cheap and totally worth it. I do this with my sister and we buy the pass on St. Patricks day where they discount it for one day. Make sure you check the website for field trips, it is not fun if the place is packed!
b) The Zoo: I got my parents to do the Grandparent booster and then put my sisters name on the pass, I know you could figure out how to split the cost of this pass as well. We love the Zoo and it totally wears out my kids!
c) The Aquarium: Another wonderful indoor activity, this pass is cheap and there is no need to share the cost with friends. They have a reading time and fun parties throughout the year.
d) The Library: Love reading times, but my two year old does not. My kids love to pick out books and so do I. I rarely buy a book these days because I get bored of reading the same thing and everything is FREE. I get books for myself, my husband, movies. This is a great resource! Make sure to keep track of the books and the due dates or it will become a costly activity.
e) Barnes and Noble does have very cute reading times which we have done in the past, but I hate going there because my kids want to buy everything in sight.
f)) Parks!!!: My kids love them and so do I, to be free! I feel almost fanatic about utilizing parks when the weather is just right, but we love them!! I have a few favorites, but if you really want to know just ask!
g) Tracy Aviary: I love this place, it is very, very mellow. I don't worry about large crowds here. My kids love it, they have a craft they do everyday and I make sure to bring a quarter to buy a little handful of bird food.
h) Thanksgiving Point: This place is fun, but a rare occasion, we don't live close enough to make this convenient. The Dinosaur Museum is very cool and their petting zoo is clean, they have a variety of animals and pony rides. The gardens are beautiful as well! I would make a habit out of this if we lived closer.
i) utahmama.com is a website that I also check frequently when I need ideas of things to do.
j) Plan weekly play dates with neighbors if they are interested. Invite friends over! I plan on having my place be a safe hang out for teenagers. That way I know what is going on, but I am the one feeding them and providing entertainment. Since my kids are so young, it is keeping them safe, snacks and crafts!
I love knowing that I did something fun with my kids at the end of the day and so do they!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Blog Take Two
My first post was lame, but I can't figure out how to fix it!
I like the idea of sharing ideas of making it happen, so we will stick with that! Before I move on, I want to make a few things straight, I am not super in anyway nor do I intend to portray that. I am not a fabulous witty writer either. Remember I am sharing ideas and tips or whatever that has worked for me, not all of my ideas will work for you.
Here is the thought of the day. To stay ot home with your kids or not?
I often ask myself this question, why, might you ask? Well, am I damaging my kids by how often I might yell at them or just plain be irritated. I feel like I am a talented person, that I could be successful at whatever I do. However, I have not received any promotions since I entered into this career as motherhood. So why do I do it? Do I do it because Dr Laura said I should, that my religious views say I should, that my mom did it so I should? If all of these things say I should than it probably is important right?
Here is the bottom line, it is important, no matter how mad I get at my kids, noone will love them like I do. I had them, I should be the one to care for them. Not all mothers can stay with their children for such and such reasons, I get it. However, if you can, just do it! You may not want to and things may happen, for example: I will sometimes get lost in motherhood and stop taking care of myself, stop eating right, stop exercising or making personal goals. It is a conscious and serious effort to make sure I am mentally able to take on the daily tasks that seem soooooo monotonous some days. Some days are good, some are bad. I don't love it everyday, but I do love my children and they need me now, not after we get our dream house.
How can we as mothers do this and stay above water financially?
Here are my tips, from personal experience...
1) If you don't have kids, but you have two incomes, live off of one and save the other. Do not go out and buy a ton of stuff you can't afford and then become slaves to debt making it very hard to stay home.
2) Staying at home needs to be a plan made by you and your spouse, you need to be on the same page so that when it comes time to say bye, bye to that money you are both on board.
3) If you have not done the above things listed then you need to seriously down size, house, cars, gym memberships, mall trips, hair cuts, presents, stop all of it. This can be done slowly, but it needs to be done. I love to brag about purchases from DI! My kids are not spoiled because I don't max out credit cards from Christmas.
4) When you do have kids and you still need income, get creative...
a) Care for another child along with yours
b) Create your own business. I had a Chocolate Fountain Business that was enough work to keep us busy, but did not need to leave my daughter.
c) There are a lot of things you can do at home that can make you money, data entry, sales... Be careful though, if your child is needy or too young, you might find yourself going crazy and they don't get the attention they need. I know this from personal experience and it was a very crazy, hard decision that I made. Maybe I will share that later on!
5) Budget!!! Plan and know where all of your money goes, if you don't have enough, re-evaluate needs/wants. Go over your stuff monthly, there are great programs that are free to help you track your spending.
6) Get creative!!! Read Dave Ramsey "Total Money Make Over"
7) Make sure family and friends are on board with you as well, if your friends want to do dinner, activities that are way out of budget, find new friends or suggest things you can do more economically.
8) Have Fun with your kids! I for one am not a home body, getting out of the house is a must for me and my kids. We do field trips regardless of weather and have soooo much fun!
9) Every time you need a pick me up and validation that what you are doing is the right thing listen to Dr Laura, she always helps me feel good about the choices I have made!
I like the idea of sharing ideas of making it happen, so we will stick with that! Before I move on, I want to make a few things straight, I am not super in anyway nor do I intend to portray that. I am not a fabulous witty writer either. Remember I am sharing ideas and tips or whatever that has worked for me, not all of my ideas will work for you.
Here is the thought of the day. To stay ot home with your kids or not?
I often ask myself this question, why, might you ask? Well, am I damaging my kids by how often I might yell at them or just plain be irritated. I feel like I am a talented person, that I could be successful at whatever I do. However, I have not received any promotions since I entered into this career as motherhood. So why do I do it? Do I do it because Dr Laura said I should, that my religious views say I should, that my mom did it so I should? If all of these things say I should than it probably is important right?
Here is the bottom line, it is important, no matter how mad I get at my kids, noone will love them like I do. I had them, I should be the one to care for them. Not all mothers can stay with their children for such and such reasons, I get it. However, if you can, just do it! You may not want to and things may happen, for example: I will sometimes get lost in motherhood and stop taking care of myself, stop eating right, stop exercising or making personal goals. It is a conscious and serious effort to make sure I am mentally able to take on the daily tasks that seem soooooo monotonous some days. Some days are good, some are bad. I don't love it everyday, but I do love my children and they need me now, not after we get our dream house.
How can we as mothers do this and stay above water financially?
Here are my tips, from personal experience...
1) If you don't have kids, but you have two incomes, live off of one and save the other. Do not go out and buy a ton of stuff you can't afford and then become slaves to debt making it very hard to stay home.
2) Staying at home needs to be a plan made by you and your spouse, you need to be on the same page so that when it comes time to say bye, bye to that money you are both on board.
3) If you have not done the above things listed then you need to seriously down size, house, cars, gym memberships, mall trips, hair cuts, presents, stop all of it. This can be done slowly, but it needs to be done. I love to brag about purchases from DI! My kids are not spoiled because I don't max out credit cards from Christmas.
4) When you do have kids and you still need income, get creative...
a) Care for another child along with yours
b) Create your own business. I had a Chocolate Fountain Business that was enough work to keep us busy, but did not need to leave my daughter.
c) There are a lot of things you can do at home that can make you money, data entry, sales... Be careful though, if your child is needy or too young, you might find yourself going crazy and they don't get the attention they need. I know this from personal experience and it was a very crazy, hard decision that I made. Maybe I will share that later on!
5) Budget!!! Plan and know where all of your money goes, if you don't have enough, re-evaluate needs/wants. Go over your stuff monthly, there are great programs that are free to help you track your spending.
6) Get creative!!! Read Dave Ramsey "Total Money Make Over"
7) Make sure family and friends are on board with you as well, if your friends want to do dinner, activities that are way out of budget, find new friends or suggest things you can do more economically.
8) Have Fun with your kids! I for one am not a home body, getting out of the house is a must for me and my kids. We do field trips regardless of weather and have soooo much fun!
9) Every time you need a pick me up and validation that what you are doing is the right thing listen to Dr Laura, she always helps me feel good about the choices I have made!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Rochelle Staying at Home
This is my first post of actual blogging. I have long avoided doing one because I don't like to follow trends and I don't want to brag about my life. Or maybe there really isn't anything to brag about. However, after watching Julie & Julia I thought I could become famous by being me. Probably not, but I can try. Everyday I have profound conversations with myself about so many different topics. Motherhood mostly, but there are the political thoughts, cooking thoughts, religious thoughts and marriage thoughts. Maybe this can help other moms who need a little pick me up or justification that they are doing the right thing..... Here goes!
Today my major thought is about NAPS, my two year old Cody has been a very energetic child and has sucked the life out of me on a daily basis. Naps have been my salvation, my alone time, it was MY TIME. When he was a baby naps didn't do well and he didn't sleep at night either. However, after much training and tears and stressful panic attacks, he fell into a nap schedule at about age 10 months and would take 3-4 hour naps. It was pure bliss, Makayla my daughter would watch movies and not bother mommy during her quiet time. Alas, those blissful days are over, Cody has started to wean himself of naps, sleeping for more than an hour means a 10-11pm bedtime and he will wake up the next day a total wreck. Getting an early bed time has not really worked either. He just doesn't need as much sleep as I would like for him to have. I have started to talk myself into accepting the fact that naps are coming to an end and that my two year old will be in my face all day long. Does this stress anyone, have they cried about it? I don't have anything to look forward to during the day and it scares me. It scares me how I will cope with my "Spirited Child" during these cold winter months.
Today my major thought is about NAPS, my two year old Cody has been a very energetic child and has sucked the life out of me on a daily basis. Naps have been my salvation, my alone time, it was MY TIME. When he was a baby naps didn't do well and he didn't sleep at night either. However, after much training and tears and stressful panic attacks, he fell into a nap schedule at about age 10 months and would take 3-4 hour naps. It was pure bliss, Makayla my daughter would watch movies and not bother mommy during her quiet time. Alas, those blissful days are over, Cody has started to wean himself of naps, sleeping for more than an hour means a 10-11pm bedtime and he will wake up the next day a total wreck. Getting an early bed time has not really worked either. He just doesn't need as much sleep as I would like for him to have. I have started to talk myself into accepting the fact that naps are coming to an end and that my two year old will be in my face all day long. Does this stress anyone, have they cried about it? I don't have anything to look forward to during the day and it scares me. It scares me how I will cope with my "Spirited Child" during these cold winter months.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
